I study romantic relationships. I also wish to get engaged. So, of course, I've given a tremendous amount of thought as to what it really means for my partner and I to marry one another. Researchers have found that weddings are deeply significant life events, but we don't really know why they're so meaningful. Marriage may simply be about celebrating a milestone: recognizing the relationship that a couple has built together and the love that they share for each other. But weddings are also very future-oriented, as the couple publicly promises to maintain their relationship for life. I suspect that it's really these vows -- the solemn promises that the newlyweds make to each other in front of their closest friends and family -- that are at the crux of why weddings have such an emotional impact.
No pressure. I sat down to think about my own vows, clearly i had a lot to consider. If these promises are the essence of what it means to be married, then what exactly do we want to promise each other? We could always go with the traditional marriage vows: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better for worse... but, these seemed a bit too vague for my taste. I decided that i wanted to make more specific, behavioural promises: things we can strive to do for each other that would help us to not only remain together, but also happy and fulfilled in our marriage.
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